Foolsoft Roll Call

Time for the FoolSoft Roll Call! Without these icons of IT, your company may actually succeed.

Money Man - He likes the idea of the computer industry. Why not? A shelf full of computers hit him in the head and the bigbox store gave him a big cash settlement to keep it out of court. Armed with money, we gathers together all of these technical people. They would confuse him at parties so he thought they would be ideal employees.
Best Trait To Bring to FoolSoft. Snap judgements. He'll listen to all the arguments (read: one argument) and spring into action.
Specialist Prick - He knows one things really well. In most cases your specialist prick will know one part of IT inside out (networking, PHP, Linux, Oracle, etc.); he may also have a second specialty-- keeping his job. He'll keep everyone in the dark about what he's doing. When it's too late to fix the problems he makes, he'll flee. Even if he could teach someone his specialty, he won't do that. He'll keep it all nebulous so that no one can look at his work and call, "Bullshit!"
Best Trait To Bring to FoolSoft. His specialty is his strong suit. How he leverages his strong suit in the work place makes him the model FoolSoft employee.
Twitchy Guy - Maybe someone poked him with a stick. Maybe the delicate nature of his genius makes him ideal for the job but wrong for life amongst the humans. You name it, someone made the twitchy guy so twitchy. He makes everyone uncomfortable. He feels like a old dynamite. You think you're going to set him off, so you think it's best to say nothing.
Best Trait To Bring to FoolSoft. The emergency. Eventually someone will find him walking around his neighborhood naked or will he will try to drown the mother he lives with. Then his FoolSoft co-workers have to rescue him, console him, tighten the straps on his straightjacket-- whatever.
Surly Tech - He's probably brighter than the Specialist Prick and more stable that the Twitchy Guy, but you'd never know it. He'll keep his knowledge to himself like a Microsoft application or a Linux help file.

You ask, "Should we format the hard drive?"
He says, "Yes."
You blank the hard drive and find out later that there was a better solution and say to him, "What if I changed the config file so it reads, '0.2'?"
He responds, "That would fix it, too."

Best Trait To Bring to FoolSoft. His ability to do his work at the expense of everyone else's. Usually Surly Tech gets put into the sysadmin role. There he can merrily delete files, shut out access and down servers.